Final days in China!

I'm finally getting to wrapping up our trip in China with a few pics. Mostly of us killing time, and just goofin' off in the hotel in Hefei City and then on Shamian island in Guangzhou.

Trying to get as close as we can to the fish, while not falling in.

Playing with friends.

Figuring out what Amara will eat. Conclusion: Not much.

Mama's breakfast. Yum! Adrian was not happy with my selection of breakfast food every morning. But I couldn't take the strange knock-off American food. When you're in China you eat Chinese. And boy was this delicious!

Finding my much needed Zen at the top of Hefei City.

Amara trading her shoes in for Adrian's!

Amara is wondering how she lucked out to have such a cool big brother!

Leave it to him to find a nice girl in every city...

Such a Romeo.

Flashback to Ava who also did not like these little people. For Ava, I used my ring to lure her into the line. With Amara I used a cheerio. But it didn't last long. Run in and get out!

Dancing around the hotel room! Why yes, we were losing our minds. Living out of a hotel room will do that to you!

Chillin', eating ice-cream and getting to know her reflection! Or maybe she's going to make a break for it as soon as that door opens up...

Shopping for pearls. Yes, she's begging with her eyes. "Adrian- please free me!, this woman may never stop..."

Drinking tea with our guide, Ann.

Yep. And there he goes again... 

Eating cuddlefish- Adrian loved the food. The stranger- the better!

Here you can see that Amara had a few mosquito bites over her left eye that swelled up and looked horrible. Everywhere we went women pointed, questioned it and looked at me with a raised eyebrow and puckered lips in judgment for allowing it to happen to her...Truly I didn't see it happen people! They attacked while we slept! They each had a suggestion for prevention and treatment for our guide to translate to me. Our guide gave us tiger balm to put on it. Which only burned it more and made it look much worse. Ahh, yes, they joy of being a mom under a microscope in a different culture. Good times ;-) 

US Consulate Appointment Day! Let's hear it for the red, white and blue! One more thing to check off the list!

Our view from our Hong Kong airport hotel. We were finally going home!!!

Hong Kong from above. Next stop, New Jersey and US Citizenship!

Thumbs up! Sweet baby did such a good job staying in her seat for 15 hours! I was skeptical about whether she could do it but she was a trooper and took it in stride! 

And then we were home! Amara Forbes was going to meet the rest of her family. Time for the real fun to begin!!  :-)

I'm still here...

Many times I've followed blogs that suddenly stop with posts like "We are on our way to China!" or "Tomorrow is gotcha day!" and boom. Nothing. No more posts. I hang on, checking every day, wondering how their travel went, what their child's reaction was upon meeting their new family, how was the adjustment? And nothing comes. Eventually you stop checking, but always wondering if everything was going ok. Hoping it was.

I've become one of those moms. And I can speak from experience. One of those reasons, at least in my case, for just stopping is that it just became too H.A.R.D. Hard. My friends, both online and in real life, keep checking in wondering if everything is ok. And it is. I'm just working really, really hard to make it all work. I have had to dig really deep, going into myself to find the energy for all of the new emotions as well as just plain old daily life of going to work and trying to make life good at home for my husband and children, while not losing myself in the process. It isn't easy. And frankly this isn't stuff I've felt good enough about writing about on my blog. Thank you friends for checking on me and pulling me out of myself. Reminding me I'm not alone.

Amara is precious and beautiful, and we love her dearly and in line with her tenacious and mischevious personality she literally never stops. She is like a little energizer bunny. And so I never stop. Never. So since becoming a mom of six, one of which is the aforementioned bunny, I'm mourning the free time I once had (albeit limited). I'm mourning the clean house I used to achieve (albeit short-lived). And I'm mourning kids going to bed without two hours of convincing (one hour was plenty). Basically I'm mourning the semi-control I've since lost completely. My sweet Amara is mourning so much more- her "family" in China, her predictable schedule and the only home she ever knew. And yet at the same time, despite the turmoil, we undoubtedly are growing closer; finding joy in one another; calmly rejoicing in the amazing process of getting to know and love each other as family. Gradually we are coming to the knowledge that all of this mourning and trying to cling to control is temporary for both of us and we will come through the other side richer. We just need patience. We are simply still waiting for the dust to settle.

And so with that I also know I need to start blogging again. It helps me to be present in the joyous times. The times that far outweigh the rough ones. To remember what I should be grateful for. And to document my view of our life together for my kids. We haven't chosen the easy path, but it is an honest and rewarding one. And so I will, beginning with the remainder of our trip in China with my wonderful eldest son Adrian (whom I'm so appreciative to for sharing this experience with me-and supporting me in China- thank you Adrian with all my heart and soul- you are truly special) and my beautiful new daughter, Amara.

Great Wall- July 30, 2013