She's losing it people....my day in summary...

Everyone in adoptive parent land knew that today was going to be the day for Travel Approvals. I've been waiting 17 days- the average for when one should be approved. There are about 10 people on RQ waiting for the good news. Last week, I think there was one approval. This day should have brought a landslide of them....Can you sense the anticipation? So, I woke up, got the kids ready for school and headed off to work. I'm plenty busy there. I should be able to keep my mind off this right? I actually thought to myself- I'm so cool and relaxed- I'm not going to check RQ or obsess about TA today, if I get it I get it and if I don't... (here, my friends, comes the downwards spiral) well, I may not get it all week, which puts us into the October holiday, which means TA would be at least two weeks away, and can I handle it if I don't get TA today?, maybe I better make a cheer up letter now to myself for after I don't get TA and I'll list all the good things about waiting to travel until November, I better check RQ and see if anyone else got TA, only two TAs from the same freakin' agency- what the hell? Is CC@AA trying to make us crazy? Is this some sort of endurance test? Well, I better call my agency and see if they heard anything. And I'll be casual about it, so they don't know I've turned into a momzilla (oh wait, my cover was blown along time ago)... nothing there yet, maybe tomorrow. Ugghh... Yep, I'm a freak. What's that phrase about whatever doesn't kill you?... oh yeah, it will make you stronger. I'm really strong right now- a really strong freak.