Surgery Update

10:00 am update-
All is well, she is on heart bypass and a machine is now doing her breathing and heart function for her. We will hear more about her progress at 11:30 a.m.

When do smiles cause the heart sadness?

When they are from your little girl induced by medicine they gave her before they wheeled her in the surgery room. This was so sad to me. I just can't get over the fact that she has just learned to trust us unconditionally and when she comes back she will be hurting. I just received notice at 9 am they made the incision to her heart. I already miss her and I wonder how long it will be before she bounces back to her old self and when we will see that smile again.

Three months home...an update

Ava has been home for 3 months!
I have always heard stories of these little ones coming home and adjusting quickly and parents amazed at their progress. I don't know how many times I've read on blogs that they can't believe how easily these kids understand what is going on around them and seem to accept being a part of the family so quickly. It is the miracle of adoption. Not to say that everything is easy and there aren't some ups and downs - attachment is a process, but we consider ourselves so lucky. Ava is so easy going;  an old soul, with such a strong and calm character and I have thoroughly treasured these past months and getting to know her. This month was all about learning and opening up.
So what is she up to? 
Talking- She knows and says some words, like potty, eat, owie, uh oh, ride, meme, grammy, mommy, daddy, Adam, drink, please, I love you, thank you and lots more. Someone on the outside probably couldn't understand many of these words because of her cleft palate, but it's like when a one year old starts talking and mommy and daddy always know what they are saying. She understands everything we tell her and most of the time even accepts the word "no" ;-)
Learning- She has preschool screening on Monday! She won't start until the fall but I can't wait to see how she does with other kids her age! She repeats ABCs back to us, is learning how to do puzzles, and loves to read books. She likes to "read" along , quite loudly actually, so a gentle reminder to shhhh and she will quiet down and listen. But it is her job to turn the pages, don't forget that! We took the pullups away (yes we had essentially trained her to go in them by always having them on, oops) during the day and she was potty trained within two days.  Sometimes she still wakes up wet but for the most part she's dry. Oh, and she knows "wet" too because she will tell us if she is. 
Loving- She loves cuddling, giving kisses and saying "I love you" - on her terms that is, don't push her to do it because that just backfires! She is the sweetest little girl in the world, but with an independent streak! If her brothers ask for a hug and kiss she will usually look at me like- do I have to mom? I nod my head and she does it. Unfortunately, they usually aren't happy with just one so they push it and she gets annoyed. They have a thing or two to learn about women still ;-) She does get jealous when I cuddle with Aidan and she will purposely sit between us or demand a space on my lap if he is there. She loves family hugs and will come running not to be left out.
Beautifying- She loves to brush her teeth and will do so 20 times a day if you let her. Obviously we don't but she tries! She demands that I do the same to her that I do to myself. Lipstick, blush, hair, nails- she wants it all! I love that she is a girly girl.
Helping- She watches everything and tries to do everything we do. This makes for a very big helper! The other day I took the garbage out and when I came back she had opened the cupboard, pulled out a new garbage bag and was holding it out to me when I came back through. She's a genius I tell ya!
Singing- She loves to sing along in the van with me and the other kids and has become an important voice in our little choir.
Leaving- She can get herself totally dressed to go outside, snowpants, hat, mittens, jacket and boots. She still loves to go outside or go for rides. She now understands when she can't go because only half of the tribe is actually leaving. She no longer cries but will take off her boots and grudgingly walk back in from the mudroom. She has become comfortable with people where ever she goes. According to Daddy she likes to interact and "chat" with people at stores. She stays home with Daddy some days and Meme on the others so she hasn't had to be left with anyone else. This has helped make her more secure I think and why she can open up to others so easily compared to when we first brought her home.
Out and About- She is walking outside! At first she wouldn't let us put her down- she couldn't walk on the ground. She didn't know what it was, I guess. And now she trudges through snow, which initially terrified her, just like bubbles in the bathtub did. Now she is an old pro at it. I can't wait to show her this place in the spring and summer. I look forward to showing her blooming flowers and bringing her to the beach...{sigh}
Having Fun-Her biggest brother Adrian bought a four wheeler so she is enjoying getting rides around the house on that. She enjoys sledding down hills with Daddy too. I say she enjoys, only because she doesn't protest. She is not one of those kids that shows a great deal of excitement for these fun things, but stays calm with an unreadable face, soaking in the entire experience. Reminds me of Adrian when he was little. Her favorite cartoon is Backyardigans. It's the singing and dancing, she can't get enough of it! We have to get her into some dance classes because she's obviously a natural!
Sleeping- She now goes to sleep on her own! This was the hardest adjustment for us because she fought us so hard at bedtime and we would lay next to her crib, sometimes for an hour before she would go to sleep. She would always catch us if we tried to sneak out before she was sleeping soundly and would start frantically crying. Nothing is more frustrating then wanting to spend an hour relaxing, reading a book or watching TV at 7 pm, and being stuck in a bed pretending to sleep. And the kid won't do it! I know a mother is supposed to sacrifice, but I honestly had a really difficult time with this one. I finally convinced Aaron to move her crib into our room which mean we had to climb over each other or the end of the bed to get in or out, but what a difference. She finally slept through the night. But we still had to lay with her. Then we started to put her in our bed, read to her, tuck her in (this always brings on the satisfied giggles), turn off the light, and walk out. She yells "night night" and that's that. Thank God! Time to myself, what a wonderful gift this is!

We are leaving for Boston this Thursday the 9th for her open heart surgery scheduled for Monday, February 13th. She has a Partial Endocardial Cushions Defect that needs repair. This surgery will close a hole in her heart and widen two arteries. She hasn't had so much as a cold and no symptoms of the heart bothering her, which makes it difficult to put her through this. But we know it is for the best and has to be done sometime or else she will eventually experience difficulties. We hope to be back by the 21st.  Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Skiing with Asa and running with the bulls

So yesterday was Asa's turn on the big mountain. I learned my lesson from last week and signed him up for a two hour instruction. We did a couple of practice runs on the magic mountain and he seemed to do pretty well so I left him with the instructors and went up for a couple of runs alone. Alone. I know, weird. I have to say it again. Alone. Now I use to be one who loved spending time alone. But I'm not going to lie. I felt a little panicky at first. I rode the lift alone. And I was forced to think about it. Why was it so uncomfortable to be by myself? I realized that was something I was going to have to work on- spending more time alone. Not easy with 5 kids, but by gosh, something I have to do.
So after making a wrong turn on some Snake something-or-other Trail, I found myself on the intermediate trail. Now I'm not a great skier- I'm not going to win any medals or anything. But I can stay standing, and I can turn, and I can even swish to a stop. Not so, my friends, on the intermediate trail. I knew I had gone the wrong way when I could no longer see bottom, only a drop off. But what were my choices? Go back up? 200 feet back to the other trail... uphill... I think not. Nope the only way was down. So I made my way painfully slowly down from one side to the other side, but it was icy and my skis kept sliding sideways. So I fell. I got up, and I silently cursed the other skiiers flying down past me swishing from side to side and I debated whether I should yell for one of them to send a snowmobile after me. Too proud for that, I made sideways baby steps in the deeper snow on the side for about 100 feet until I gained enough confidence to give it a go again. Note to self- green trails are good, blue is bad, black is obviously not ever happening. Ah well, so I was content on my green trails spending time with myself while feeling pretty darn good about cheating death or at least a broken arm. 
Then it was time to get Asa and I told him about my predicament and he begged to go on the lift just as Aidan had the week before. It wasn't going to be a story to tell his brothers unless we did. So we are riding on the lift and I pretended that all the trails were like the one I had taken. I tried to scare him (because yes, I do want to instill some fear in these boys.. fear is healthy). He shrugged it off and said um, yeah mom, there are three year olds skiing down right there. I replied, those are the three year olds that made it. Half don't. But why would anyone do it if it was that dangerous? he asked. It's like running with the bulls, I replied. Doing something death defying. Everyone has to do it so that if they make it they are able to appreciate regular, everyday life all the more. Hmmm, he seemed to think about this, replied that he would prefer to run with the deer and that yes, he was going to ski down that mountain even if it were scary. What does it take these days to scare a 9 year old boy? Geez, kids are so desensitized these days (to quote the Grinch)... Well, ski it he did and he now had a story for his brothers. And me, well, I felt like I had truly ran with the bulls for a minute there and I was in bed by 8 pm sleeping soundly with a belly full of ibuprofen for my sore muscles. Next week is Adam's turn! Talk about having to instill a sense of fear...

This girl can bust a move!

A father's love...

I just stumbled across this video and wanted to post it in honor of the best daddy in the world home taking care of Ava right now!

Our Daddy Aaron!

Skiing with Aidan

Yesterday Aidan and I went skiing at Smuggs. The sun was shining and there wasn't a bit of wind. It was his first time, and my first time teaching a little one. Boy is that hard! I tried to be patient and supportive, really I did, but I admit it wasn't easy. Afterwards when I told him I should have paid for lessons, he reassured me that I was a great teacher, even better than Kelsey. Which is saying a lot considering Kelsey was his first preschool teacher whom he adored. My favorite moments were when he told me what he really wanted to do was ride the lift to the top of the mountain after only two times of falling all the way down the mini mountain. Ummm, little dude, you have to actually ski down after you get to the top. It was his mission at that point to not fall on the mini mountain so that he could ride the lift. Could I resist? Nope, we rode the lift once towards the end of the day and he skiied on his butt most of the way down. But what a smile he had! The other favorite moment was after 5 hours of being tied into our torture devices called ski boots we took them off and rolled around the floor of the locker room, giggling at each other, saying "life is sooo good" and stretching out our cramped toes. Next week is Asa's turn!

Mama's Li'l Helper

A glimpse into Ava's life before us...

Once again Lvliang Orphanage has hit the ball out of the park. It is obvious they cared for Ava as much as they could when there are hundreds going through their care at any given time. I just picked up the pictures I had developed from the disposable camera I sent with Ava's care package back in the early summer. Pictures of Ava with her friends, with her nannies, playing outside, eating her cake. A couple of her smiling, most not. Most of them show her with a blank expression, surrounded by children with the same blank expression. Had I received these before I met her I would be so thrilled to have a peek at her but now I look at them with a little sadness and I ask "who is this child?" I can't even put into words how much she has grown, both in body, personality and happiness. These pictures really hit me after having the past two months to get to know her and I once again I am counting my blessings that we get to be a part of her life journey.

2 months home!

Sweet...

and

Sassy!