The A Team!
Aaron, Amanda, Adrian, Adam, Asa, Aidan and Ava
Friday, July 29, 2011
I-800 Submitted!
Yesterday the I-800 was sent to USCIS (Immigrations). This document includes the Letter of Approval from China and Ava's specific information so that she can be determined an orphan and approved for adoption. This step takes about 2-3 weeks. Once that is done we can apply for a visa and then we can get travel approval. Right now it is taking about 8-10 weeks for travel approval from where we are right now. That means we could possibly travel in October but there is a trade show in Guangzhou (where we have to finalize the adoption) and this will make expenses about 3 times more than usual. It may mean we will have to postpone until the first two weeks in November. We can't make travel arrangements until we get travel approval and a consulate appointment anyways so we'll play it by ear. But it looks like end of October, beginning of November! That's only about 12 weeks away! I hope to get an update on Ava's size (and hopefully more pics!) soon so I will know what size to pack her. I'm planning on lots of dresses/stretchy pants so if I'm off a bit on the size it won't really matter. I have a TON of cute clothes size 2-3 given to me (thanks to Amy!) and purchased at yard sales and such. She is going to be one well dressed little girl! I just can't wait to be with her!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Adoption from the Child's Perspective
Immense Loss; Walk a Mile in Baby's Booties
Imagine for a moment?
You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiance. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.
The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world, the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.
The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.
But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?
You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.
But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?
Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.
You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.
Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.
More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?
You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.
The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.
You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.
The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.
Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.
Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.
He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.
You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to sleep.
People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.
Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.
Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.
--Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller
Imagine for a moment?
You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiance. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.
The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world, the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.
The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.
But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?
You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.
But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?
Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.
You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.
Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.
More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?
You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.
The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.
You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.
The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.
Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.
Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.
He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.
You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to sleep.
People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.
Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.
Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.
--Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
I got a feelin'...
...that next week's going to be a good, good week. As of today we are day 73 into our LOA wait. If you had told me at day 1 that I would wait this long and not be totally crazy I never would have believed you. But here I am still sort of, kind of sane and I'm amazing myself with my great patience. Ha! It seems like whenever we get in line for something it slows right down. China apparently has been working hard on issuing Travel Approvals which is about 4 steps after Letter of Approvals. The new post adoption requirements go into effect after August 1st so if you have your Travel Approval before that date then you are grandfathered in and don't have to follow the new rules. Which is going to be much more expensive and time intensive. So, that being said, I'm happy that everyone waiting for TA is being pushed through. But I'm ready for my LOA!! I had a good feeling about this week but now I know the good feeling was just a precursor for next week!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Want the good news... or the bad news?
I'm the kind of gal who likes to get the bad news cleared away first so here it is- bad news is that only Aaron signed the personal application letter in the dossier (ahem, long story here) and China has told us that they will not process the approval until we send another one, with both signatures, notarized, certified by the State, US and Chinese Consulate. Ugghh... Of course, this will take at least a week so we will be waiting even longer. Now to the good news! The good news is that at least we know the file is being reviewed and not being used as a paperweight or under a desk somewhere. Hey that's pretty good! I'll take what I can get and I'm running with it!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Tick Tock...Day 39 says the Clock
In our adoption life the time is passing very slowly (painfully so) but surely. I'm trying not to wish my summer away (it's way to short as it is) but I will be very relieved when the Letter of Approval is issued. According to our agency, yes I have been bugging them again :-), the dossier was translated by Bridges of Love on May 26th and it is now in review. She anticipates us getting approval in approximately two weeks if all goes well... Hmmm... right about when we're on vacation with no access to cell phone or internet- Yikes! Let's hope we get it July 1st before we go! When I finally get it I'm going to celebrate by ordering Ava and her little friends a HUGE cake from Ann at Red Thread! Can't wait!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Care Package Received in China!
I just received notice from the orphanage that the care package was received! We had asked 10 questions and they have answered them for us! I love this orphanage :-) We have truly been blessed to have so much information from them.
1. What do you call her? Does she have a nickname?- She does not have a nickname. She is called "Dong Yue"
2. Why did you name her this? - She was admitted to the orphanage in the winter time. Dong means winter and Yue means moon
3. What food does she like to eat? - Fried and sweets. (Hmmm... sounds like I've got a food buddy;-))
4. How does she sleep? She sleeps soundly and does not snore (This is sounding better and better)
5. Do you have pictures of her as a baby? Have Photos. (I hope we get them when we pick her up!)
6. Who found her? She was discovered by two local policeman: Liu, Chun Rong and Wu, Er Leng near the Rehab Hospital.
7. Did she have a cleft lip, if so when was it repaired? No cleft lip- only cleft palate. Not repaired because of heart.
8. Current weight and height? 82 cm and 22 kg (this can't be right because it would mean she is 45 lbs., I'm thinking it was supposed to be 12 kg or 25 lbs- although with all of those fried and sweet foods who knows?)
9. Does she speak? Now she can speak some simple double words. Sometimes, she will sing along. (Yayy!!)
10. Does she like to be held? She loves to be picked up and be held by caretakers. (This is fantastic news! She sounds like quite a love bug. Well, except for the little boy in the video, but he was being a little clingy...)
I am now picturing her cuddling the blanket/doll and looking at the photo album getting to know her family! I'm really so excited! This baby has waited long enough. We are at day 27 of LOA. Remember after LOA we have about 6 weeks until travel approval. Agency says LOA timeframes are currently at 60 days. Although I have seen some fellow APs see theirs at 35 days. But others are at day 78 and still haven't seen theirs... Let's send some good vibes over to China everyone. "Approve the Forbes file, approve the Forbes file...".
1. What do you call her? Does she have a nickname?- She does not have a nickname. She is called "Dong Yue"
2. Why did you name her this? - She was admitted to the orphanage in the winter time. Dong means winter and Yue means moon
3. What food does she like to eat? - Fried and sweets. (Hmmm... sounds like I've got a food buddy;-))
4. How does she sleep? She sleeps soundly and does not snore (This is sounding better and better)
5. Do you have pictures of her as a baby? Have Photos. (I hope we get them when we pick her up!)
6. Who found her? She was discovered by two local policeman: Liu, Chun Rong and Wu, Er Leng near the Rehab Hospital.
7. Did she have a cleft lip, if so when was it repaired? No cleft lip- only cleft palate. Not repaired because of heart.
8. Current weight and height? 82 cm and 22 kg (this can't be right because it would mean she is 45 lbs., I'm thinking it was supposed to be 12 kg or 25 lbs- although with all of those fried and sweet foods who knows?)
9. Does she speak? Now she can speak some simple double words. Sometimes, she will sing along. (Yayy!!)
10. Does she like to be held? She loves to be picked up and be held by caretakers. (This is fantastic news! She sounds like quite a love bug. Well, except for the little boy in the video, but he was being a little clingy...)
I am now picturing her cuddling the blanket/doll and looking at the photo album getting to know her family! I'm really so excited! This baby has waited long enough. We are at day 27 of LOA. Remember after LOA we have about 6 weeks until travel approval. Agency says LOA timeframes are currently at 60 days. Although I have seen some fellow APs see theirs at 35 days. But others are at day 78 and still haven't seen theirs... Let's send some good vibes over to China everyone. "Approve the Forbes file, approve the Forbes file...".
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Translations- Video and Finding Ad
I was interested in knowing what the nannies were saying in the video and what exactly they were calling Ava. The chinese coordinator with our agency, who is amazing by the way, sent me the following last night:
"I reviewed the video and the nannies are speaking mandarin with the local dialect. I guess "Dong Yue" is pronounced "da or dan ya" in their local dialect. Dong means winter and yue means moon. What a beautiful name!!!
"I reviewed the video and the nannies are speaking mandarin with the local dialect. I guess "Dong Yue" is pronounced "da or dan ya" in their local dialect. Dong means winter and yue means moon. What a beautiful name!!!
In the video, couple nannies asked her not to hit boy and to hold "mei mei" (little sister)'s hand. The other girl walked away as Ava tried to walk towards her. Yes, they did ask Ava to come to the camera to say "mama". Love her little hairdo!!! :) Walking in such thick (multiple layers) clothing will make anyone walk like a penquin. :) "
I have also received the translation for the finding ad and it says the following:
On June 28, 2008 the "Shanxi Worker Daily" published on November 18, 2008 a baby girl, about a month old, was found at the gate of the Recovery Hosptial of Lvliang City. She has a cleft palate and lip.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Care Package Sent to Ava!
So yes, that is what we have decided to name her- Ava! The boys have pushed for this all along and I do love it but had to rule out a couple of other names first ;-) I haven't quite figured out her full name yet, as I want to use her Chinese name but don't want it to be too long either. But progress has been made and now we have something to call her besides a mispronunciation of her Chinese name.
On Monday I got Ava's care package together and sent it off to the translator. I wrote a note to the orphanage and to her. I wrote that we loved her, would see her after the summer and that we hoped she would be happy to come home with us on a big plane and meet her wonderful brothers. I think Aaron had one of those weird reality moments when I told him that. Like, wow, this is really happening... It definitely did seem weird to be writing to her directly. I can only hope that the nanny reads it to her and talks to her about us for the next 3-4 months so that she can be prepared, somewhat, for meeting us.
This is what we sent: Her blanket with her picture on it; a soft doll; a soft photo album filled with pics of us; a disposable camera; two sundresses; a sweater; a hair bow (for that adorable pebbles pony tail); and a bag of Lindt chocolates for the staff .
Note the little bow on the teddy bear on the photo album matches the blanket ribbon. So cute! The little sundress has watermelon slices on it. Not sure if they will dress her in it as they seem to really like the uniform she is in but it is worth a try!
Every little girl needs a doll and blankie!
Photo Album with pictures of us and her home!
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